But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
