and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
