plz talk dirty to me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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