I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
