And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
