why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize