you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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