I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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