just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize