There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
