I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
