At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
