Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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