So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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