question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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