i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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