Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love you. Go after that dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
