There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
