just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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