If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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