It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
