SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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