Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
