the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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