dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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