I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
