I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
