It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
