3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
