It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
