GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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