Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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