A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
