The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
