Duck Duck Cougar?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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