moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
