Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize