I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
