i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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