So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
