Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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