dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
