Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
