roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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