Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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