Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am mentally ready for anal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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