windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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