I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
