I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
