Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
