Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
