bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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