That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
