I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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