How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
