wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
