No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
