I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize