How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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