the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize