So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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