In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
