Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
