Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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