i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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