found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
