lets start a swedish sibling band together
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
