Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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